CJP’s Presidential Horoscopes

By CJP | May 19, 2008

   Janes, every political web site gives you the latest polls, but only CJP brings you each candidate’s latest horoscope.  Polling data  helps, but horoscopes guide, don’t you think?  Here’s what the stars say about HRC staying in, Obama and the Super Ds, and McCain and the Republican base.

John McCain- a Virgo:

• HOROSCOPE:  Try not to let your innate skepticism get in the way of group activities. Disagreements can be handled amicably, but only if you’re willing to accept alternative points of view — for the time being.
• CJP’s TRANSLATION:  Mac, you’ve never been a party man, but the RNC can help you with money and manpower.  You and conservatives may not always be on the same page, but do you want the country to turn to a new chapter that’s not about you?

Hillary Clinton- A Scorpio:

• HOROSCOPE:  Other people are leaning your way in a big way now, so use that momentum to get your way — however you think works best for you and your people. It’s a great time to assert control.
• CJP’s TRANSLATION:  Your ladies are lining up behind you, and how about all those “hard working Americans”?  Use your leverage now to get what you want in the future.  V.P. slot?  Ambassador to Jamaica?  First female pope?  Think big, be big, HRC.

Barack Obama- a Leo:

• HOROSCOPE:  See if you can find a way to figure out what people are really up to today — because they’re not likely to tell you straight up. It’s irritating, but it’s still a good idea to stay fully informed.
• CJP’s TRANSLATION:   The Super Ds seem to love you, so where is the superdelegate flood when you need it?  They’re a shady bunch, but find out what they want and give it to them.  The Clintons aren’t going gentle into that good night.

Topics: The Hopefuls' Horoscopes

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