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The Hopefuls' Horoscopes | ‹ Back Next › |
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By CJP | February 14, 2008
 With this lull in the action on the campaign trail, this is the perfect time to regroup, refocus and take a moment to see what the stars have to say to our contenders. Here are the Hopefuls' Horoscopes, with some downright spooky levels of insight:
Mike Huckabee- a Virgo:
- HOROSCOPE: "Normally, it would be rude to invite yourself to join someone else's plans, but today you are a welcome intrusion almost anywhere! Invite yourself and then don't change your mind."
- TRANSLATION: Who cares if the Republicans are having a party and you're not invited? You know that "gracious" is just another word for "loser," so grab hold of your delegates like a hungry squirrel holds its nuts, and dig in until the convention.
John McCain- also a Virgo:
- HOROSCOPE: "Normally, it would be rude to invite yourself to join someone else's plans, but today you are a welcome intrusion almost anywhere! Invite yourself and then don't change your mind."
- TRANSLATION: Guess what- you didn't get invited to the Republican's party either! But you're the best date the Republicans are going to get this year. So put on your dress whites and get ready to dance, because you know that a man in uniform is just what the GOP needs to class up that joint.
Hillary Clinton- a Scorpio:
- HOROSCOPE: You have a master plan of where you want to go, but its not always supported by what actually happens. And right now, it's the unexpected twists of the plot that bring you closer to love, sweet love. So roll with it!
- TRANSLATION: HRC, we know being president was always in your plans and you're not the only who thought you'd have this locked up by Super Tuesday. But Rocky never wins his first fight because he knows this: America loves a comeback. Now get in that ring and turn this thing around!
Barack Obama- a Leo:
- HOROSCOPE: Disciplined on the outside, you may be worried on the inside. Keep acting as if everything is going well- exactly as planned, in fact. Soon the inner turmoil subsides and you are perfectly congruent.
- TRANSLATION: Could winning the White House really be this easy? What if the adoring press turns on you? Are we counting the Clintons out too soon? Stop worrying, B.O., eight-for-eight is pretty great. This might be yours to lose.
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With this lull in the action on the campaign trail, this is the perfect time to regroup, refocus and take a moment to see what the stars have to say to our contenders. Here are the Hopefuls' Horoscopes, with some downright spooky levels of insight:
Mike Huckabee- a Virgo:
February 16th, 2008 at 7:28 am
I thinks this horoscope is a bit one sided and bias. I hoped this site was not just glorified support for Hilary. I guess I was wrong. Hilary’s horoscope was very inspirational (if you are Hilary) but looks like Obama’s translation is to give up and let the woman have it. We, as women, should not want anything handed to us and we should also use our right to vote to vote for a person based on their differences not our similarities.
February 16th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Hi Mona- But we told Obama “eight for eight is pretty great- this might be yours to lose.”
We think that should be encouraging to Obama and everyone who loves him!
We’re not rooting for any candidate over another, just trying to have fun with horoscopes.
Keep coming back to CJP!