The Hopefuls’ Horoscopes: Cheaper Than Polls and Likely More Accurate

By CJP | November 20, 2007

On Sunday’s edition of “Meet the Press,” Byron York from the “National Review” said something incredible about the state of the presidential race in Iowa. “Everybody (potential voters) says they might change their mind. So my sense is right now is the polls even in Iowa just don’t matter.” [NBC's Meet the Press]

What? How can a hopeful know if they should go to Ames or Iowa City? TV ads or radio? Without this crucial barometer of public opinion, where is a presidential candidate to turn? I think you know- the stars. Horoscopes may not have a 100 percent track record, but as we know, neither do polls of likely Iowa caucus goers.

So, knowing that the top tier may not have time to consult their own horoscopes, CJP will be taking the liberty of doing it for them throughout the campaign. Let’s see what today’s stars can tell us about the contest in the Hawkeye State….

We’ll focus on the top Democrats (and Kucinich) first:

Hillary Clinton, a Scorpio: “Avoid arguments — and if you run into conflict, try to make peace with everyone.” Such good advice.

John Edwards, a Gemini: “The universe is giving you an opportunity to initiate new schemes. Don’t pass it up.” Translation: Push through to New Hampshire.

Barack Obama, a Leo: “Reach out for the opinions of others. Show that you value constructive criticism.” Translation: It’s time for new polling to see why you’re not getting more traction.

Dennis Kucinich, a Libra: “Don’t let anything put a damper on your positive attitude. Stay objective and calm.” No translation needed!

We’ll take up the Republicans tomorrow. But in the meantime, feel free to see what the future holds for you today….. [Yahoo!]

Topics: The Hopefuls' Horoscopes

Comments